Category: Joke Board
SUBJ: Age and Guile Beats Youth and Skill
An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens.
The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting
on in years. And the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't
hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster
emporium, and turns him loose in the barn yard.
Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he
gets a little worried. So, they're trying to replace me, thinks the
old rooster. I've got to do something about this. He walks up to
the new bird and says,
"So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot
stuff, don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet.
I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge
you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it
ten times and whoever finish's first gets to have all the hens for
himself."
Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought
he was more than a match for the old guy. "You're on," said the
young rooster.
"And since I know I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of
half a lap. I'll still win easy," said the young rooster.
So the two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race with
all the hens gathering around to watch. The race begins and all the
hens start cheering the roosters on. After the first lap, the old
rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the
old guy's lead has slipped a little but he's still hanging in there.
Unfortunately the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time
around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young
rooster.
By now the farmer has heard all the commotion. He runs into the
house, gets his shotgun, and runs out to the barn yard figuring a
fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees
the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster
still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims,
fires, and blows the young rooster away.
As he walks away slowly, he says to himself, "Damn, that's the third
gay rooster I've bought this month."
========================[ H U M O U R N E T ]=======================
SUBJ: More Farmland Humor
A farmer, after his old rooster passes on, brings home a new rooster
guaranteed by the breeder to be both prolific and ready for service.
He sets him free in the farm yard and watches.
Right away, the rooster takes off and immediately services each of
the hens. Once he's finished he races down to the pond and goes to
work on the ducks. Finishing off the ducks he moves on to the
geese, the goats, the pigs--even the cat.
Pleased with the exceptional dedication to duty of his new rooster,
the farmer smiles and goes off to attend to some other work on his
farm. After several hours he heads back to the farm house. To his
dismay, lying on its back with its legs in the air in the middle of
the farmyard is the new rooster. Vultures are circling overhead.
"ARG!" the farmer wails "The BEST rooster I've ever had and he's
dead in one day!"
The rooster lifts his head, winks, and putting a feather to his beak
says "SHH!" while pointing with his other wing at the circling
birds.
Oh, wow! Took me a minute to get the second one. Quite funny. I like them.
lol, good one